Thoughts

Things that pop into my head have always been a struggle for me. I try my best not to sin, but I am human so it's going to happen. My thoughts are one of the things that I feel like I don't have much control over. A few years ago, I came to the difficult conclusion that I am a controlling person (that's another issue), so the fact that I can't control what I think about all of the time is a challenge. I've tried to distract myself with other things and I pray, but often times sinful thoughts still pop into my head no matter how much I don't want them too. I don't have anything in particular that I think about on a daily basis, but if an incident should occur that I wasn't fond of. I can't seem to stop thinking about it. Whether the incident was an argument with someone, I hurt some one's feelings, one of my children got into trouble, or someone did something to offend me, I can't seem to stop thinking about it. As time goes on, the thoughts do seem to fade away, but I wish I could stop thinking about them all together, so I wouldn't feel anxious or mad anymore. From time to time, something may remind me of some of those thoughts and they'll creep themselves back in for a little bit and at that point it is easier to distract myself and let them go. I realize that sin plays a huge role in this and that God is ultimately in control. My life has changed this past year with letting things go and giving them to God because he lives inside of me. That was a slow and enjoyable process. I'm still working on my relationship with the Lord. I can't believe he loves me for me, but he does. So those nasty little thoughts that Satan tries to boggle me down with are no match for God, but I think he still tries to get in the way of me and my savior, but I know God wins in the end and therefore, so do I.